Progression of me

from eighty four to now…

The Good, The Bad and Over Thinking It All.

on November 24, 2012

Don’t you hate that feeling – when your alarm goes off and you can’t remember which day it is?  It all becomes clear it’s the weekend when the pounding in your head reminds you, you had a few too many drinks last night…and then you remember the drunken phone call…

It was the work Christmas party last night so I gave myself a pass to have a few drinks – particularly as I had made it through the 20 minute presentation in the training course I was doing – and I hate public speaking!!

Free alcohol mixed with very little food is always a recipe for disaster.  It was a good night though and I left before midnight.  It’s just the rambling, angry phone call with a friend that I regret – when you take all your frustrations on someone who doesn’t deserve any of it!

2012 has been a tough year for me – it began with a stint in hospital, to say I’ve been unlucky in love is an understatement, and I’ve had numerous problems with my car – don’t get me started on those!  I was then diagnosed with a life changing condition (unrelated to the hospital stay) and I lost my grandfather.

A good friend pointed out to me the other day all of the bad things he has had happen this year and the fact that he can still find the positives in his life.  His last text message to me read:

I’m saying you have had positives and you can’t see them

I didn’t reply.

I think because it hit home a bit too much.

Why is it that I focus on the negatives?  If I look back over the year I’ve had some significant good times too…

I had an awesome trip to Europe with two good friends, I was then promoted at work and not long afterwards I won an award I had been working towards for 12 months.  This in turn gave me the opportunity to go to our Global Awards which was easily one of the best weekends of my life.  A few months later I moved house and have replaced my car.

When I write it all down like that, you could say that for each negative part of my life there has been an equally positive part…so why all the concentrating on the negatives?  Is this normal?  They do say that when a person has a bad customer service experience they will tell 8-16 people who in turn will tell others – but when someone is happy they will only tell between 1 and 3 people.  Why is this?  These bad experiences are always the ones we remember too…

The experiences I have had this year…whether negative or positive have lead me to where I am today.  Looking back over the year I can say I have learnt from each of the experiences; or am continuing to learn.  I guess life only presents you with these hurdles when you’re ready to take them on.  Whilst flying last week one of the notes I listed was:

If we don’t make mistakes we don’t learn and the same goes for sometimes things have to hurt before we realise we have to do something big.

A song that I have always really liked is below – the first line seems to fit quite well with 2012 for me.  I feel that although everything has felt like it’s falling apart…this is really the only way I am going to grow.  And hey, if these things had not happened this year – would I have started this journey?  


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